Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
