I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
BRING THE BAGELS
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
