There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We need to get me chipped asap
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
