I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
