doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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