I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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