the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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