somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
