we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We have so much sex to catch up on
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
