oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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