I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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