I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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