just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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