i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
