he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize