I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We got so high we made milksteak
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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