Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize