I just threw up on my dentist
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
