We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
