Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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