dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
