I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize