I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
try to milk me bitch
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
