So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
