You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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