physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
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I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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