There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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