He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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