I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
