Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
