Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
