yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
