when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
