Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
