I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
