i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize