we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
