It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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