apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
false alarm. still invincible.
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Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
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I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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