yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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