Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
