you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
