Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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