You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
