You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she smelled like a LAN party
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
