I only kidnapped one of them. chill
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
