somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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