In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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