Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
