There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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