you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
