Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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