1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
