omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize