Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
