dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
