Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
