just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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