I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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