Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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