'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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