Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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