need another drink. this is the easiest way
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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