i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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