A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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